The way it is

I’m actually really glad things turned out the way it is. I’m glad i made that decision back then. Of course i was disappointed with how things ended, but i’m in no place to ponder about it because it was my decision after all. But honestly, i can say with confidence that i’m glad. Really really glad. Not because i was unhappy, but because i could see the relationship slowly becoming obsessive, on both sides. It was becoming a point where the relationship wasn’t going to be a happy (on my side at least). It was coming to the point where we were both gonna suffer.

Like what everyone says, you’re in your twenties. Old enough to make wise decisions, but young enough to learn from mistakes. It was my 1st relationship after all, so it’ll serve as a benchmark for me in the future.

Do i feel nostalgic? All the time. Nothing more. I’m quite surprised with the progression of my emotions, to be able to feel this way after half a year. I was very much in love, that i can be sure of. But who knows, you know? I don’t have anything to compare it to. I’ve always tried to not say out what i really feel about all this, always somehow hinting on my Twitter, because i didn’t want it to seem like the whole relationship was nothing to me. It was everything. First relationship, first kiss, first everything. I guess that’s why i’m writing this, to just let out what i really feel and stop pondering about it. I’m at a stage where i’m happy with where things are going at the moment.

SO ANYWAYS, I’ve officially finished my 2nd year of uni! Time really does fly as you get older. By this time next year, i would be graduating (well, if i don’t fail any units that is). How surreal is that?

I’ve recently started my UNPAID internship here. Gotta say, enjoying it much more than the one i did in KL. They give me so much more work to do, and they actually guide me through stuff. As opposed to the KL one where they didn’t bother with me at all and i just sat there like an empty vase. Here are some pictures of where i’m interning at! 😀



Stay tuned for more ramblings from your one and only derp queen. 😉


There are no fruits to bear

Sometimes, you work and you work but somehow, the results you get isn’t on par to the amount of work you put in, it really just makes one feel like the worst loser in the world. Especially when you see the people surrounding you doing so well, it really is heartbreaking. Is it my lack talent? Is it my lack of being intuitive? Or is it just me in general? Somehow or rather, it seems no matter how hard i try, fruits are not bearing.


So why do i even bother trying?

Spring is here in Melbourne

Well technically, Spring came to Melbourne a month ago, but i needed a nice title so LOL.

Once again, so sorry for the lack of updates. Really need to get my writing mojo back. I’ll probably blog more when i start my internship here HAHA

OH YEAH, I GOT AN INTERNSHIP OFFER HERE IN MELBOURNE. After the tons of e-mails i sent out (seriously, like 40 over, and my mom wanted me to send out even more), with ONE, MEASLY ONE positive reply, i got this UNPAID internship opportunity. I know, i know, it’s all about the experience, but it would really be lovely if i could at least get paid a little ;-;

Yep, with the internship here, it means i’m only going back to Malaysia in the middle on Jan. Which also means i won’t be able to see my friends who are studying in UK. ;-; Such is life. Let’s hope this time around will be a great internship experience (let’s not delve into the previous one ey)!


Since spring is here, have a picture of a flower i took using my new Sony Nex-5r interchangeble lens camera (which i named Chanyeol, cause my phone is Kyungsoo and my Macbook is Jinki lololol). Really satisfied with my camera teehee.

Until next time!

A tad bit out of touch

I apologize for leaving this blog so deserted. But rest assured, when my new camera arrives, there’ll be more photo post! This i promise! 😀

Uni, while work load is not as intense this sem, but the intensity of the work itself is much more (i hope that was understandable). Finding an internship is a pain in the ass too, especially when most of your friends have secured one while i scurry around to find one. I’ve tried my best, having sent over 40 e-mails out. 1 replied with a ‘sort of’ positive tune, but i’ll need to meet with the Creative Director first. Oh, and it’s the same company when i was doing my job experience in KL. My luck with this company -__-

So anyways, here’s a picture i took quite a while back. One of the things i enjoy of Melbourne sunsets.Image

Of hairbands and brothers

As i promised, every post i write will have a drawing of my thoughts or an actual picture itself. I know, it sounds kind of lame, but i’m trying to hone my doodling/photography skills which are at a very noob level now lol.

So anyways, today i went for some window shopping because i’ve go a couple of Myer gift cards and i’m looking for a nice pair of leather long boots. Walked around the whole of Myer and didn’t see any in particular that i lied. And most of them are really pricey, which of course,i’m not willing to spend, knowing the cheapskate i am hahaha. So anyways, i walked into Lovisa for fun and saw some really pretty hairbands!
IMG_2100These are the pretty hairbands i bought (excluding the cat ears one i bought for betch Sue Yin as a belated b’day present)

I’ve been into hairbands quite lately. It’s my latest fetish hahaha. It used to be leopard print stuff, and now hairbands! I’ve purchased quite a few, but i ain’t taking pictures of those just to put them on my blog. This picture was taken from my instagram btw LOL. I melt everytime i see pretty hairbands :3

While i was scrolling on facebook just now, i saw some pictures of friends that’re having fun with their siblings and whatnot. Which really made me thought to myself; wouldn’t it be nice to have great sibling relationships? I mean, i see my cousins and friends have so much fun with their siblings, tell each other so much, just like a best friend you know? I don’t have that with my brother at all. We’re in a hi/bye relationship, where we’ll only talk to each other if there are errands that need to be done or there’s some important stuff from my parents. Other than that, nada. Which really makes me envious with everyone else you know? I want to have an older brother where i can talk about my problems, share secrets and just have a healthy sibling relationship. Just the other day, he brought his girlfriend back for the 1st time (who is really pretty by the way. No idea how an idiot like him managed to get someone like that), but there was no introduction of ‘HEY, THIS IS MY GIRLFRIEND BTW’. Nada. Not a word. But she was polite enough to come into my room and introduce herself (though it was kinda awkward). It just really sucks you know? The only time he seems like an actual brother is whenever my parents are around, but he’ll just revert to his annoying self. But without my parents,he doesn’t interact at all. He doesn’t even tease me? I just find all these really weird.

It feels like i’m an only child 99% of the time.